mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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