I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i dont even know how to be here
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
