Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
