we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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