everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize