fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
