Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
