I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
