trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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