I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
