Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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