I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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