I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
