Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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