guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
