All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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