he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
