Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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