he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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