I wanna bring you to show and tell
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
