guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
