my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
