I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
