how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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