While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
