You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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