my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
