Your face is a jimmy john
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
