Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
