there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
