It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
