I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
