I don't usually arrange sex via text message
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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