i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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