What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
