I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
