I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
