'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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