I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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