Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
