I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
