Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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