Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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