i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
