Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
