I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
