Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
