Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
