Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
