What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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